How to
How to Get Started with Deepthroating
Giving and taking your all!
Across the board oral sex is always going to be a beautiful blend of sensual sensations. There is one sensation, however, that might be a bit harder to reach than others; Deepthroating. Deepthroating tends to look a bit scarier to folks than a lot of other forms of play because, let's be honest, most people just hate gagging. Overcoming your gag reflex is intimidating, but with the right tools and practice the two of you can find a happy medium. However, we do have to know exactly what it is we’re up against first… So what really does it mean to “deepthroat”?
What are we doing here?
Deepthroating is the act of taking a penis, finger(s), toy, or other probe past the lips and further towards the back of your throat. The gag reflex, however, is what will mainly try to put a stop to this. Now, it’s important to note that your gag reflex is not entirely your enemy here. It’s a series of protective constrictions in your throat to try to prevent you from choking when it thinks you’re in danger. Multiple spots can trigger this reflex such as; the back of the tongue, the back of the mouth, tonsils, uvula, and the soft pallet. Basically; there are a lot of spots that are going to make you want to gag. The real key is mindset, relaxation, and positioning. That being said, deepthroating isn’t the golden standard, and is not something that has to be achieved to perform good oral sex. Some people simply have too strong a gag reflex to do it and that is perfectly okay. But if you’re looking to give it a shot, there are some good things to keep in mind.
A practiced talent.
As mentioned before, a lot of the struggle is automatic response and mindset. By increasing your exposure and knowledge of the skill you can overcome a portion of that instinctual response. Think of it like the difference between knowing that someone's going to scare you or not. You might still not like it, but you’re gonna jump a bit less. For the gag reflex, this comes in the form of practice. Taking a thin object like a small sex toy, toothbrush, or even a (clean) finger you can insert that object to the point where you start feeling the need to gag. Hold it in that position for a few seconds and practice breathing through your nose. If this works the way you want it to, you will not have a lot of room left in your mouth to breathe through..
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Notice your reaction. Is your throat tense? Is your tongue curled, or relaxed? What about your jaw? Take into account all these responses you have, and do your best to relax each of those areas. That goes for the moment before a gag and in the moments leading up to it. After a while you can gradually increase the size of the object you are using to practice and/or the distance it goes in. Over time many people will see a good deal of progress on their reflex control. It is a trained skill, however, so always be sure to re-practice if you know you are going for something particularly challenging.
A Proper Fit Takes Control.
Working towards a full fit of your partner is, quite honestly, incredibly dependent on the size and shape of what you’re working with. If all our throats were phallic shaped, it would be a much different (though admittedly strange) situation. But even then no penis, toy, or probe is exactly the same. The curvature of any given thing you want down your throat has a large part to play, too. Depending on how an individual/object is shaped, different positions will work better than others. Even approaching it from another angle is enough to make a difference. That being said, it's important that, at least while getting started, the person using their throat is the one in control.​
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As seen above, there are a lot of factors and, frankly, focus that goes into deepthroating. So for everyone's safety and pleasure, it’s important to discuss with your partner who is in control of what. Let’s set the scene. There you are in the middle of a fantastic night. You’re centered and focused on what you practiced, taking yourself to limits you now know better than ever. Then all the sudden, a head grab or sudden thrust pushes you past what you can handle, or what's safe for you. Not only is that prone to cause gagging or puking, but it’s just flat out dangerous. Talking with your partner beforehand and letting them know what level of control they can have over the situation is key to a good time. Do they need to be hands off, or can they hold onto some other part of you? Would movement mess you up, or are you fine with a rough time? It’s gonna be different for everyone, so the only real way to know is to ask. Communicate, set boundaries/signals for slowing play or bringing it to a stop, and be sure to clean yourself before play. Courtesy and consent are hot.
Helpful Tips/Tricks:
Beyond training your gag reflex, relaxing your body, and loads of practice; there are other tricks to help or enhance your oral journey. These are small tricks of the trade that you might find useful for specific moments in play or for a specific interest you or a partner may have. So, let’s see a few!​
Tongue Placement:
Having your tongue forward and out of your mouth can be helpful to open up your throat and some space in your mouth. Too far forward can cause issues though. You don’t want to strain your tongue while deepthroating, so an outward but relaxed position works best. A good spot many use is to have their tongue resting on their lower lip like a cozy pillow. That way it’s not taking up space or causing any tension in your throat.
Lubricant/Saliva:
Just like any other sexy act, there’s gonna be a lot of friction. Luckily we have saliva to help us here, but it might not be quite enough. Or perhaps you're suffering from dry mouth at the moment it matters most. There’s never any shame in employing a lubricant to help out. Many are in fact, flavored, just for that occasion! As for spit, there are helpful tools like mints, sprays, and gels that help get the saliva going. Explore the options and enjoy!
Throat Desensitizers:
For those that just can’t get past the intensity of their gag reflex, there are options. Throat desensitizers are throat sprays that help reduce your gag reflex by taking a bit of the edge off the feeling. They are incredibly useful helpers, but the key is to only utilize them as desensitizers. (yes they are. They contain a topical anesthetic Or am I misreading your intent here). You still need to be able to feel the way your body responds during sex, and while we might want to override a little bit of our human coding; you should never reduce that feeling to nothing. They can be very useful tools, just be sure to utilize them as instructed and responsibly!
Warm Up Prior:
The throat is just as much a muscle as any other part of your body. If you know for sure you’re going to be testing your limits, be sure to warm up prior. Work up to the size you know you are dealing with later. It can even be as simple as a cup of hot tea to warm your throat up. Starting with a toy at the front of your mouth and working your way back as you get comfortable is also a great way to warm up. Whatever works to get your body ready for the next sexy act.
Getting Comfortable with Gagging:
While gagging is an uncomfortable sensation, there are ways to get used to the feeling. Not to mention gagging might even be part of the appeal for some scenes. If you’re going real deep for your play, it can be a good idea to get familiar with the feeling. Being able to gag, shrug it off, and not miss a beat is a hard skill to master. However, it is one that can be trained for those willing to try. It’s definitely an advanced technique and needs to be
When it comes down to it, deepthroating is a sexy skill that can be trained like any other. It may not be possible for some and that’s perfectly fine. It’s only one of many acts that can make oral a mindblowing and enjoyable time. Remember that you should never push yourself past what you know is safe or comfortable for your body. If at any time you experience pain or extreme discomfort in any sexual act, immediately bring play to an end and discuss what didn’t work. Your body is the only one you’ve got, and if it can't handle the aspects of play you may still want… Well there’s probably an expert or toy out there that can help you get pretty damn close.