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How to
Impact Play
Spank, swat, whip, flog, paddle. When you want to really FEEL, impact play provides the power and sensations.
Impact play is a well-known, but often stereotyped and mis-portrayed, staple of BDSM play. It is a broad category that encompasses any act involving striking the body with hands or implements for the purpose of eliciting consensual and safe physical or mental pleasure for the recipient, giver, or both.. Below the surface impact play can be far more detailed and subtle and should be engaged in with very clear negotiations completed beforehand. This is because the reasons for wanting to engage in impact play vary dramatically from person to person as do the specific means and thresholds by which they wish to enjoy it.​ While impact pay is closely tied to sexual acts, impact play does not always result in or involve direct sexual arousal or activities.
Below you will find an introductory guide to engaging in impact play. Always practice Risk Aware Consensual Kink (RACK) or the BDSM rule of Safe, Sane, and Consensual. Both phrases embody the philosophy that everyone involved is aware of what is going to happen, approves, and that at any moment it can stop it (revoke consent) for any reason. ​​
R.A.C.K
Risk
Aware
Consensual
Kink
Safe
Sane
Consensual
​BEFORE:
​Test unfamiliar tools - If you do not know what if feels like to be hit by a particular implement, find out. If you are the top, this provides a basic expectation of how to wield it and what if feels like. If you are the bottom, this will tell you if it might be something you would enjoy. If prepurchase, respect the shop's goods and give the inside of your forearm a few firm (not excessive) strikes. Asking the store's staff if it is acceptable to test, or can give advice, is always a polite and effective way to learn more. Once your new tool is home, test more rigorously. Test on yourself, a pillow, or furniture. The more comfortable and familiar, the better.
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Appropriate space - Select a space the provides the necessary room and accessories on hand. For example, some tools require a large space to use effectively like longer floggers. You or the receiver may desire to have a place to lay down during or after play. Impact play is relatively loud and can be misunderstood for those not familiar. As such, it is recommended your play take place where it is only heard or seen by those in the know or no one at all.
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Receiver is in control - This is over-generalization, but an appropriate way of approaching any type of power play. While the top/giver looks to be the one with total power and control, they are actually the one responsible for delivering the bottom's desires. While consent can be revoked by either party at either time, more often the bottom is the one whose thresholds are tested. This means a good top take's their role seriously and monitors their bottom's status closely.
Establish safe word/gesture - Establishing a safe word or gesture can help. These must be unmistakable words or gesture that indicate pausing/slowing or outright stopping the activity. To compare to a stoplight, a "yellow" word/gesture means slow down or pause. A "red" means stop, immediately and with no objections. Using safe words or gestures can simplify the embrace of Safe, Sane, Consensual (SSC) or Risk Aware Consensual Kink (RACK) by allowing clear communication during intense scenes.
More on safe words: The lack of safe word does not necessarily mean consent is revoked or SSC has been violated. Power playing taps into intense emotions, impact play adds intense physical sensations. This could result in a bottom/receiver unable to provide the needed word or gesture. An imperative when taking on the role of the top/dominant is to always monitor the situation for what it represents. If it is clear the activity should stop, STOP, safe words or gestures be damned. ​​​​
Choose the best tool - Selecting which tool for your session is important as there are wide range of sensations and ease of use. Some are certainly more approachable for those who are new to the activity. Go HERE to learn more about the different impact tools available.​​​​
Choose
and Test
SAFE
WORD
GESTURE
and/or
DURING:
Agree on the outcome - Remember, not all impact play sessions involve or end with sexual contact. Agreeing beforehand can be a good idea to keep your play on track. That, or agree that the situation is fluid and sex is a possibility if so desired by both parties. Keeping an open mind is a good thing and can be done while still following the overall rules of play.
​​Start light - Don't run before walking. Start out with lighter strikes to gain comfort for both parties. This might been the first session or two might be more practice than play as you get familiar with the entire situation.
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Keep to safe parts - Restrict your area of impact to less risky body parts like the butt, upper back, shoulders, and legs. This is to avoid damage to sensitive skin or organs. Yes, experienced participants can indeed agree to involve other body parts as long as all involved know and accept any risk (RACK again). In general, always proceed with caution when expanding to new areas of the body.
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Help the dominant - A good submissive will help their dominant out by clearly communicating during play. This usually means providing the right feedback to slow, stop, or change. Remember, this is supposed to be a pleasurable experience for everyone involved, even the dominant takes pleasure in giving the sub a good experience. ​
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Keep situational awareness - It is easy to get caught up, or immersed, in the moment. BDSM, and impact play, is meant to be enjoyed to the fullest extent that you want it to be. Just ensure that during your session you stay aware of signs of any physical or mental distress, especially if you are the dominant.
AFTER
​Aftercare - You just finished up a session of intense flogging, now what? Now comes a very important phase of impact sessions, the aftercare. This refers to whatever very personalized process we need to go through that keep our minds and bodies happy and healthy. We use the same process (or SHOULD) for sex, but the physical and emotion intensity of BDSM makes it all the more important. Be certain you know what you and your partner needs to bring themselves back to center. It could be simply rubbing salve on tender skin and going on your way, or it could be a lengthy period of de-stimulation or cuddling. Everyone's needs will vary, but that makes them no less important.​
​Session review - It might be a good idea to review, at some point, how the play went. We owe it to our partners to let them know what went well and what didn't. If the partner is a passing play partner, then focus on what you might want to negotiate the next time you find yourself at an event. If this is a full-time partner, then kindly and openly share feedback to make your next session amazing.
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Update tools (if desired) - Like many activities, you may find that you want to change your equipment to best suit your evolving experience and style. There is a HUGE variety of tools available for impact play, each bringing a unique feel or look to your sessions. Check out more information on what is out there HERE. Have fun exploring this delightfully broad are of BDSM!