Listening Lovers August 2025

What's New?

Maria

Here's to another amazing August at For The Love Of It! Just because the summer is ending doesn't mean the fun has to. This month we've brought in some products designed to be your new favorite fun pastime. Meet Maria, Blair, and Isabel—they're all set and ready to go home with you today! Take them out of the box and let the fun begin. These stunning dolls stand between five foot one and five foot three, weigh around 88-99 pounds, have posable limbs and, of course, three holes for you to use as you please. They're crafted from SensiSkin material for that soft, lifelike feel. Dress them up, dress them down, and enjoy them however you like. These dolls are perfect whether you're new to sex toys or adding to your collection.

If you're thinking about adding some new toys to your collection, why not explore some new butt stuff? August is all about anal pleasure, and we've got tons of toys to help you jump into the fun. Whether you're into butt plugs, prostate massagers, anal beads, dildos, or a mix of everything, we've got you covered. Some people worry it might be uncomfortable or painful, and honestly, if you’re not doing it right, it might. Now, you might think about using numbing lubes, creams, or gels to take the edge off, but we really don’t recommend that. If something hurts, there's a reason, and numbing it isn’t going to help fix the problem. One of the best ways to avoid pain and discomfort is by using plenty of lube. If you feel any pain during anal activities, it's important to stop and figure out what's going on. Maybe you need more lube, or maybe the toy is bigger than you thought and you need some extra time to adjust. Without following proper butt-play protocol, you may also experience some tissue tearing in that area. If tearing occurs, it can be dangerous. Our anal canal and rectum's main job is to expel waste, and even small, unseen tears can result in serious infections. These infections are often caused when feces comes into contact with the open wound.

New Kinks & Fetishes

To submit your questions and thoughts please submit an email to info@ftloi.net 

What’s the most talked-about kink and fetish this month?

What is dormaphilia?

When exploring different kinks and fetishes, it's important to try and remain open-minded. Consider dormaphilia, for instance. Dormaphilia is a kink or fetish in which someone enjoys being unconscious (typically while sleeping) or pretending to be during sex, or they could even just enjoy being touched sexually while unconscious. On the other hand, there's somnophilia, which is just the opposite—it's when someone enjoys having sex with or touching someone sexually when they're unconscious. To some people, this might sound a bit out there, but for others, it's one of their favorite activities.

So why might someone be into this? One of the big appeals of this activity is the power dynamic. Some people might like being unconscious because they feel a loss of control over what's happening to them. That sense of helplessness and extreme vulnerability is sometimes exactly what they're after. On the flip side, someone might enjoy having sex with an unconscious person because they have all of the control. Lastly, it could be just about the thrill of surprising someone with sex, almost like a wakeup call. Being able to see the look on their partner's face once they realize what's happening and knowing that they are in such a vulnerable position can give an immense sense of power and control.

While the unconsciousness and vulnerability may be part of the allure, this does not mean that consent is unnecessary or assumed at any point. As with any kinks and fetishes you explore with your partner(s), it's crucial to have a detailed discussion about all kinds of different factors. Consider whether you and your partner(s) will have a signal or method to indicate when exactly this activity is acceptable, or if it will always be an option. What will that signal be if you decide to implement one? When is it acceptable, what activities are allowed? Just touching? Oral sex? Penetrative sex? These are just a few examples, but having this conversation is extremely important. Remember, there is no such thing as too many questions when discussing activities like this.

Let's talk about the signal mentioned above. When the thrill of dormaphilia or somnophilia comes from the element of surprise, discussing it before bed can possibly diminish the excitement. Some people use signals like colored bracelets—red and green are popular. Red means stop and that play is off the table for now, while green means go, and whichever the partner wears must always be respected. Another idea is to use an empty cup or shot glass on the nightstand; whether it's right side up or upside down can indicate if play is on for the night. Remember, you don't have to stick to these ideas—find whatever signal works best for you and your partner(s).

Exploring dormaphilia and somnophilia with your partner(s) can be thrilling and enjoyable, provided there is mutual and enthusiastic consent. Have open and sincere conversations, ask numerous questions, and go over the details again and again. It's important to establish a safety plan and a way to check in to ensure everything is proceeding smoothly or if changes are necessary. This kink/fetish might not be for everyone, but if it piques your interest, talk about it with your partner(s) to figure out if they share your interest.

Staff Stars

Daisy has been a part of the For The Love Of It team for two years and plays a key role in keeping things running smoothly. She always helps customers in-store, packs orders, answers phone calls, and assists with keeping the website in top form. Her joyful nature and affinity for making others smile make her a irreplaceable member of the team and its morale.

Outside of the store, Daisy recently launched her own pet care business, Snuggle & Stay, inspired by her love of animals. In her free time, she enjoys crocheting, hiking, camping, and spending time with her dog, who often joins her on outdoor adventures. Whether she’s caring for pets, creating something cozy, or exploring the outdoors, Daisy brings warmth, passion, and dedication to everything she does.

Sasha Says

To submit your questions and thoughts please submit an email to info@ftloi.net 

This month’s top question from you!     

Is it true that if my partner watches porn are they not actually attracted to me anymore?

Whether you're single or in a relationship, feeling unwanted or unattractive can be upsetting and challenging. If you're with a partner who seems interested in media like porn, it might make you feel angry, uneasy, or even jealous, leading you to question if they're still attracted to you at all. It's valid to feel this way, but it doesn't necessarily mean it's true. Porn provides a way to help people to achieve sexual satisfaction. This type of media often exaggerates and isn't very realistic, as it's designed to capture attention, much like any media. Even amateur content can sometimes create unrealistic expectations. There are tons of content styles out there, from traditional videos to pictures, subscription sites, and cam shows. Whatever the style, it's all about pleasure.

Porn is not designed to replace you or your relationship; it's designed to be a visual stimulant. However, it's important to take note that like other things in life porn can be misused and abused. For example, if a partner prefers porn over spending time together, it can lead to feelings and issues in daily life. Such misuse of porn could be damaging to a relationship. Now, even if your partner(s) are just engaging with the media and not abusing it, it could still trigger some strong emotions and may even make you wonder if they find you less attractive. Every relationship is unique and your feelings are entirely valid. Unlike the fast-paced and often unrealistic nature of porn content, your relationship is distinct and always evolving. You are unique and irreplaceable, unlike the portrayals in the media.

Take some time to think about your relationship. What thoughts come to mind? Is your relationship solely about sex? Is it your partner's personality, what makes them unique, or your physical attraction to them? Do you feel secure and safe in your relationship? Sex is just one part of the relationship, but it encompass so much more—like spending time together, attraction, compatibility, vulnerability, and trust. Porn can't replace that. If this type of media content bothers you, take a moment to reflect on why. Are you upset by the idea or existence of porn in general, or is it specifically when it's your partner(s)? Is it jealousy? Does it make you feel unwanted or undesirable? Try discussing these feelings with your partner. If you don't bring it up, how will they know it bothers you?

Talking about the issue is the first step in finding a solution. As with any relationship issue, it's important to discuss it with your partner(s). Whether their engagement with this type of content makes you upset, angry, or feel unattractive, it's crucial to communicate. Feelings can arise unexpectedly, sometimes even surprising ourselves. When they do, talk to your partner(s) about how you're feeling and why. Try to find a solution that satisfies everyone. Your feelings are important, and while this activity might not be enjoyable for you, it could be for your partner(s).

Feeling unwanted or unattractive can be tough, whether you're single or in a relationship. People engage with porn for all kinds of reasons, and it's important to distinguish between their interest in porn and their feelings towards you. Your relationship is unique and involves much more than just sexual attraction, encompassing trust, compatibility, and shared experiences. If this type of content bothers you, reflect on why and communicate your feelings. Discussing these issues can hopefully lead to a resolution that satisfies each person. Your feelings are valid, and open communication is key to addressing any concerns.

We hope to help you and your partner(s) learn, grow, and enjoy together. Please submit your questions and we would love to be able to help answer them! Check back next month to see if others are wondering the same.

XOXO~Sasha