Listening Lovers September 2025

New Kinks & Fetishes

To submit your questions and thoughts please submit an email to info@ftloi.net 

What’s the most talked-about kink and fetish this month?

What does roleplaying actually involve?

When it comes to sex there are so many different ways to explore and try new things. Whether it be a new position, new toy, adding in another person, or trying an activity like roleplay; trying new things can be exciting. Roleplay can be a great way to shake up your sex life and explore different fantasies through various scenarios. There's not necessarily a right or wrong way to approach it—it's about experimenting and having fun. People are interested in roleplay for all sorts of reasons. Sometimes it might be about escaping reality, trying out new power dynamics, someone taking a break from their own thoughts, or helping their partner do the same by taking on a new persona.

Roleplay is pretty popular and an activity that is commonly practiced. This could be something like your partner(s) and you roleplaying as strangers who just have to have each other this one night, or maybe a tenant who can't pay their rent and has to find some other way. Scenarios like repair person/homeowner, firefighter/civilian, or king or queen/servant often have one role with more power, which creates an unequal power dynamic. The idea of one person having more authority in a certain role can be really exciting and is a big draw for many people.

When you begin to consider the idea of engaging in roleplay scenarios, what thoughts come to mind? Is there a particular fantasy you've always wanted to experience, or are you aware of any that your partner(s) might have? Do you envision a scenario in a public setting, like a bar, or prefer something private in your own space? If you're interested in trying a particular type of scene but are unsure about your partner(s)' interest, the best approach is to discuss it with them! Would they be willing and wanting to try something new? What scenarios interest everyone involved? What is the primary goal? Is it to explore a fantasy or a power dynamic, or simply to try something new? There are never too many questions. It's also especially important to check in afterwards. How is everyone feeling? Was there anything someone didn't enjoy, or perhaps something someone absolutely loved? All feelings are valid and should be communicated. There's no "right way" to participate in roleplay, as long as everyone is consenting and boundaries and limits are clearly communicated and respected.

So, how do you get into roleplay? Well, every situation is unique, but it usually involves each person creating a character or new persona. In some scenarios, you might even dress up as someone else, put on a wig, and pretend to be a different person. Some people go all out with a new name and persona, and even use a completely different accent. Just because you make a character doesn't mean you have to stick to a script; it can be as easy as one partner admiring a character from a show, while the other dresses up and acts like that character to bring a shared fantasy to life. But hey, if you and your partner(s) are into scripts and lines, go ahead and use them! You could even take it up a notch and roleplay as an actor/actress and a show or movie director. Roleplay can also be about the thrill of pretending to be someone else or imagining a different life, even if just for a little while. Picture a roleplay scene where you're "meeting a stranger at a bar for the first time" and then heading home with this "stranger" you know nothing about, maybe not even their name. Now, going home or back to a hotel room with this "stranger" might seem risky and nerve-wracking if it were a real stranger, but it's actually your partner, who you know and trust.

Roleplay is a common and popular kink that you can have fun with in plenty of different ways. Every kink and fetish is valid, so if you're curious about roleplay, it's definitely worth a shot. There are tons of ways to get into it and endless scenarios you can try. Don't forget that it's extremely important to communicate with everyone involved—ensure you discuss the rules and boundaries. What scenario are you thinking about? How do you want to feel? Afterward, have a talk about how it went to make sure everyone was comfortable and had a good time. If not, think about what tweaks could make it better next time. Roleplay should be a fun time and maybe even an escape from reality, so make sure to enjoy that break the next time.

Sasha Says

To submit your questions and thoughts please submit an email to info@ftloi.net 

This month’s top question from you!     

Why use a cock ring?

Sex toys can be a fun thing to include whether it be while masturbating or while having sex with your partner(s). Toys can range from things like restraints, nipple clamps, floggers, vibrators, strokers, and even cock rings. Now some of these toys you may think are designed just for using with a partner(s) and others you may think are solely for masturbation, but that's not necessarily true. Most all toys can be used during masturbation OR when having sex, especially toys like cock rings.

First of all, what is the purpose of a cock ring? Plain and simple, rings work like a tourniquet, helping to trap blood in the penis. Using cock rings can be helpful for people who sometimes struggle to maintain an erection, those desiring a stronger or more intense erection, enhancing sensitivity in the area, or even for aesthetic reasons. It's important to note that some people struggle to achieve an erection, let alone maintain it; in such situations, using only a ring might not resolve the issue. In this scenario we often recommend using a penis pump to draw blood into the penis and then quickly applying the ring at the base of the penis to help keep the blood trapped in the penis.

Rings are available in different sizes, styles, and materials, and depending on the material they might stretch more than you expect. If you're new to this, we typically recommend choosing a ring made from softer, stretchy materials like TPE (thermo-plastic elastomer), TPR (thermo-plastic rubber), or even silicone. Silicone is somewhat firmer but still has some flexibility. Metal rings, however, are more complex and can present more risks. Since metal doesn't stretch at all, we only suggest them if you're experienced and understand the risks as well as how they will interact with your body.

Now, you might be wondering about whether or not these rings will cause pain. Well they can, but they shouldn't. You may feel discomfort wearing the ring, especially if this is a new experience for you. Rings should be snug but not so tight that they cause pain. It's advised against wearing these rings for more than thirty minutes to avoid restricting blood flow for too long, and to stop if you begin to experience pain.

So, how do you use a cock ring? Once you're erect, you can slip the ring around the base of your penis, around your balls, or both. It's totally up to what you like best. Some people wear them just around the base of the penis to help keep things firm, while others prefer the snug feel around the testicles and others do both. If you want to wear a ring around both the shaft and testicles, you can either use a dual ring toy or two separate rings. This setup restricts blood flow to the penis and gives a tight sensation to the testicles making them even more sensitive that they typically are. When using rings, it's essential to apply a good lubricant, particularly if you have pubic hair. Without it, you might end up pulling or pinching the skin of your penis or even tearing out some pubic hair, which is likely something you'd want to avoid.

Cock rings can be an excellent addition to any collection. Remember they will not cause an erection, but instead will function like a tourniquet, aiding in maintaining or enhancing erections by trapping blood in the penis. Rings can be beneficial for those who have difficulty maintaining an erection or are looking for increased sensitivity. When using cock rings, ensure you apply plenty of lubricant to avoid discomfort and hair pulling. Rings can be worn around the penis, testicles, or both, depending on personal preference. They shouldn't cause pain, and may be uncomfortable if too restricting.

We hope to help you and your partner(s) learn, grow, and enjoy together. Please submit your questions and we would love to be able to help answer them! Check back next month to see if others are wondering the same.

XOXO~Sasha